"Do what you can"
My husband’s Swiss grandfather had a saying that vaguely translates to: “At work you do what you can, but at the dinner table you must push yourself.” It has become one of those passed-down family sayings that always brings a smile.
I don’t know about any of you, but I had major AWP FOMO over the weekend. All those smiling writer-faces buzzing around the massive convention hall. I could almost hear the sound of it in my ears when I held up my phone like a seashell, that faraway ocean tugging at me. I’m being a little dramatic, but we do this as writers: see things online and YEARN. It’s built in to this work. We crave community, connection, and, yes, recognition (otherwise, we’d keep everything in a journal). I’ve had to learn throughout my career how to keep this yearn (mostly) in check, how to manage my FOMO, and sometimes, if I’m lucky, how to turn it into fuel.
This weekend, I tucked my FOMO away, reminding myself: With this work, we do what we can. Maybe we can’t afford to go to the big conference or don’t have enough vacation days left to swing it, maybe we have family issues pulling at us, maybe we wrestle with social anxiety, maybe we just don’t feel up to it. Whatever the reason, it’s okay to feel that tug once it’s in front of us (and with social media it is always in front of us). But it’s also okay to say, maybe some other time. We have to give ourselves grace in this work to miss things. We do what we can.
I remember being at a fairly big YA event once, an event that I was so thrilled to (finally) be invited to, and, backstage at a panel, I stumbled across a writer (who I’d always been a little jealous of), crying her eyes out because she was missing a significant event in her son’s school life. We talked about the tricky work-life balance we’re all always managing to mess up in some way. We laughed about how much we want something until we actually get it. I gave her a hug. It’s messy, this writing life. We are often being pulled in too many directions. Yes, yes. Onward.
I know this isn’t groundbreaking, but sometimes we just need to hear it: The key, really, is to do what you can (and occasionally, for whatever reason you value, push yourself).
Writing prompt
Think of a family saying that has become part of your family’s lore.
Use this saying (or a fragment of it) as the title of a 100-word story where its meaning becomes either turned on its head or a central emotional need in the story.
Join us to write: 30-Minute Flash!
We are planning to kick off live writing sessions via Substack each week! We’re calling them “30-Minute Flash”—a writing dash fueled by prompts and inspiration. Here’s the skinny:
Tavia Stewart will lead flash write-ins each Monday at 9 a.m. Pacific.
Kim Culbertson will lead flash write-ins each Wednesday at 9 a.m. Pacific.
And Grant Faulkner will lead flash write-ins each Friday at 9 a.m. Pacific (but his first one on 3/13 will be at 10)
A flashy quote
“I stop writing and relax with a coffee at my favorite restaurant, knowing that words can be changed, rethought, fiddled with, and, of course, ultimately denied.”
— Steve Martin from “Writing is Easy!” Steve Martin Writes the Written Word
Finding Comedy in the Everyday with Christine Sneed Thursday March 12th!
Some of us have been told from an early age that we couldn’t be funny if our lives depended on it. But if there’s a will(ingness to laugh), there’s a way. Take Christine’s class and banish the critical voices in your head for good.
A photo prompt
Buy a flash book!
I am satisfying my craving for community, connection, and recognition by continuing to keep the journal I have been keeping for 35 years and now publishing it here on Substack and gathering together the 100,000 words of this series I have written the last four months (!!!!!!) to submit to my publisher to consider another book. Best of both worlds!